The Ghost of Christmas Eve Pasts

Christmas Eve.  Such endearing moments I have stored in my memory bank from this day over the past 45ish years (I don't remember my first few years) haha!  In some ways, Christmas Eve was more precious than the coveted Christmas Day for me.

Oh my goodness, when I was a little bitty girl, my Christmas Eve memories, I will cherish forever.  Our family back then was HUGE.  Tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents.  And the whole famdamily would emerge upon my Grandma Rose and Granny Shirley's house in Huntsville, MO.  To this day I still have no idea how we all fit into that house, but we did.  And it was the most magical night of the year.  I can close my eyes right now and conjure up those old memories.  I can put myself right back in that house.  My uncle and aunts gathered around the family room in Grandma Rose's living room.  Uncle George was playing the guitar and my grandma Margaret and aunt Shirley and aunt Hilda were singing Christmas songs.  Eventually we would all join in.  My cousins and I would be playing a game of some sort on the stairs that connected my great grandma's area and my aunt's area together.  We were the older cool kids.  The little ones were upstairs wrecking havoc on my aunts portion of the house, running and screaming and God only knows what else.  Probably sneaking one of the hundreds of homemade treats from the table.  We all ran on a massive sugar high most the evening.  Eventually we would gather around the tree and the presents were, some years, almost as high as the tree.  Everyone always got a gift.  Once the gifts were opened someone would turn on the radio and we would start tracking Santa. We would all change into our pajamas because, of course, we would be falling asleep on our way home later on. Somewhere around midnight it sounded like good ole Saint Nick was making his way into Missouri and all of us kids were in a frantic begging state, we had to get home or else he wouldn't stop!!  Hurry up mom and dad, we have to go! And with our final bit of pleading, the adults would finish up their card games and wrap us kids up from head to toe in our coats, hats and gloves and my daddy would carry my sister and I to the car.  I'm going to estimate that at least 99.9% of the time my sister nor I made it to the highway before we were sound asleep in the car.  We would get home and dad would once again carry us in the house.  Frantically we would put out some cookies for Santa that we had, more than likely, made earlier in the week, and a glass of milk and carrots. And off to bed we would go.  These are the Christmas Eves that will forever be ingrained in my mind as the best days ever.  I loved these Christmas Eves in my early childhood.

In the later years, after grandma Rose passed on, we still had the same routine, but the family got a little smaller, and the gatherings became more rushed.  But they were still magical nonetheless.  It was one of the only times of the year when you still got to see your cousins and to visit and catch up on everyone's lives.   And laugh.... Lord have mercy we laughed so much with each other back then.  Everyone had stories and they were always hilarious.  There were times I would leave there with a stomach ache, not because of all of the amazing homemade food, but from laughing so hard.  One thing stayed the same, my sister and I would still be sound asleep by the time we got home.  But we were too big for daddy to carry us in now, so we had to wake up and walk in.... Oh the tragedy!  LOL!

Then eventually the younger cousins were married and having babies of their own, yours truly included.  Gatherings were harder to plan but somehow we always seemed to make it work and whoever could make it was there.  Most everyone always tried to be there.  I think we all knew that we were living on borrowed time with our beloved Christmas Eve tradition.  So we all made a point to make it as often as we could.  I am so thankful and blessed that my baby boy got to experience as least a little bit of this fleeting magic.

It is said that the glue of the family is held together by our grandparent's generation.  And once they are gone, the family as we knew it is no longer.  No truer statement has been made.  With the loss of my beautiful Aunt Shirley, also came the loss of our magical Christmas Eve tradition.  The cousins are now spread far and wide and families are much too busy to get together like we used to.  Seems so sad to me to let such a beautiful tradition die, but it is a sign of the times.  I am so grateful to have been a part of that generation, as those were truly beautiful times.

The Christmas Eves since my aunt passed away have been spent at home with my ex.  We had began our own traditions.  Christmas pajamas and Christmas movies.  And while it was not the same as Christmas Eves of my childhood and beyond, they were still good.  Quaint, simple and just being together.  Last year we even got the dogs matching pajamas.  *sigh*

And now here we are.... Christmas Eve 2019.... It will go down in the Kristy memory bank as the very first Christmas Eve EVER not spent with some sort of celebration with family, either extended or immediate.  Not a single plan today. Whew my pity party part of one was in full force today for sure! LOL But then I got to thinking, how very blessed I am to have had 47 years of fabulous Christmas Eves before experiencing a shitty one.  Some people go through life never having the best Christmas Eves ever.  And I've had 47!  So this year I'm going to push the Christmas Eve reset button and next year at this very time when I am sitting in my bed writing in my journal, God willing, I can assure you that I will have a new Christmas Eve tradition in place and it will be, once again, magical!!  Maybe it will involve some sand, sun and seascapes... One thing I do know all too well about this thing called life, you NEVER know what it has up it's sleeve for you!

Merry Christmas Eve to all and to all a Good Night 💚