I Made It!!

 The big 5ohhhh!  Who knew a year ago, when I was celebrating my last year in my 40's, this day would mean so much? That I would pray every day to see 50 and it would be more than just the "normal" milestone for me.  I sure didn't.  When the doctor told me in November that I had 3-6 months, that meant that April would be my last month here on earth and I knew then I was going to fight like hell and beat those odds.  And with tons of prayers and thousands of prayer warriors, along with new medical miracles, I made it to the big 5ohhhh!  And as you've probably seen through my photos on Facebook, I've been celebrating the whole week!  And the week isn't over yet!  So sorry to say, you will probably have to tolerate more photos!  haha! 

                         

My birthday started last weekend with my school girlfriends having a party for me at Kim's beautiful house.  I am so very grateful to these ladies.  They have made this last year so amazing for me, just being there and reconnecting in a way that I wish every person could experience.  Through 43 or so years we still love each other so much! We sat by the pool  and hung out and gossiped about old and new news. Yes we're female, we gossip!  haha! We looked through old yearbooks and pictures of us growing up over the years and had tons of laughs at our big 80's hair! I fell in love with her puppy and kitty of course, and I think they were ready to come home with me too.  I am the animal spoiler. haha  I think Barb loved them too (LMAO)!  We went to dinner Saturday evening on the "Hill" and had the best meal.  I'd never been there, so another box checked off the list!  I then headed home Sunday morning, after a stop for breakfast with a special new friend, feeling refreshed and happy and healthy!  You don't realize how much you need a get away, until you actually just make the plans and do it!  It is so good for the soul.  My advice, don't wait.  You do have time if you make the time.  

                    

Today began with a trip to the oncologist....  yippie (yes on my birthday..... happy birthday, you get a needle stuck in you!)  Aren't I the lucky one haha!  But the beautiful ladies in the lab all sang happy birthday to me and that made my day!  Then I relaxed some and headed out for dinner with friends and mom and my boy💝.  Another great night of family and friends and catching up.  Then headed to Dogmaster for a few more friend visits.  Then home to crash into bed.  I'm pretty sure I was asleep in 10 minutes!  A great and amazing birthday with people I love!  And the birthday wishes via text, messenger and Facebook - HOLY COW!  Thank you so much, they all made my day!  

            

As far as the big "C" journey goes, I am into month 2 of the new chemo pills.  I am taking 4 per day and so far the only side effect I have experienced is some severe exhaustion at times, which the doctors say is normal.  Otherwise we're trucking along and praying daily that these little grey pills are working to keep the cancer at bay.   I am still awaiting the tumor marker numbers from today and praying they are still steady and low.  I should hopefully get them by the end of the week so I can relax until my scan.  I will have a scan on August 11th to see if the pills are working and to make sure nothing is growing or nothing new is showing up.  This is a BIG scan ya'll.  HUGE!  So on August 10th or 11th, or both, if you would throw a giant prayer up to the big guy I would sure appreciate it.  I know you will, as my prayer warriors have been absolutely amazing!!  Your support through texts, messages, and posts on Facebook have made my journey feel much less lonely for sure.   

I read through my last two birthday posts today and the one thing that stood out to me more than anything is how much I have grown in the last two years.  I have reached a certain point of peace which I have never known in my life.  I have grown in my faith and have grown in my perspective of how you should live and what is truly important. I am grateful for every single day and every single moment I can be with the people that I love. I have found that being with the people (including the four legged ones) I care about is the only thing that truly makes me happy and is what matters the most in my life.  Physical items no longer matter.  Money in the bank does not matter.  Making tons of memories with the people I care about  is what matters and is how I'm going to spend the rest of my time on this beautiful earth.  

While reading the two prior birthday posts I actually hardly recognized the lost and unhappy person that was writing those entries.   I was definitely not at peace with life and seemed very lost.  It is so crazy the paths life takes you to come to the point of total peace.  I am choosing this year, on my big five oh, to let it all go.  What happened in the past is the past.  And "What If's" are a huge waste of time, because there will never be a way to find out, so I'm going to let it go.  And future "What Ifs" need to be shoved aside and to be put into God's hands and the hands of medical science for a cure for this terrible disease so many fight every single year.  It's time to join the land of the living, happy and at peace with whatever life may bring to me in the coming years!  Cheers to 50 MORE! God willing!