Well it's been a minute since my post op surgery excitement. And as always, it's been a cold, long winter here in the Ellison mansion! Although I did have a few days of escape to the tropics last month, which was definitely some much needed days of sun, sand, and sea! And of course amazing company! And it looks like we made it through another Missouri winter. The days are getting longer and the temps are starting rise, along with the Spring flowers!
So here I am, 4.5 months from surgery at KU at the end of October last year. I can't believe it's already March! What have I been up to? Well I spent the first 6 weeks taking it easy and healing. I did pretty well I think. Although some days I still feel like I'm back in those first 6 weeks, with some pain and boy do I get tired easily! But I still make myself get up and go! No time for letting the grass grow under these feet! After surgery recovery, I simultaneously started back to work and also started a new chemo regimen. I'm grateful every day for my job and the wonderful company I work for. It keeps me grounded and keeps my mind sharp and also keeps it from wandering into those dark places it likes to go, way too often these days. Chemo.... well it's chemo. I had to start chemo after the surgery because of the 8 dirty lymph nodes found during my surgery, but also, hopefully, to "clean up" any other rogue cancer cells roaming around in my body. This regimen has been a mixed bag of "fun"..... on one hand it's been better than the ones I was on before as it is only a one day every other week chemo, whereas the other was 4 days of awfulness. However, this one seems to bring with it a lot more nausea than its predecessor. But all in all, if I had to chose, the current one would be the "winner".... haha! My white counts and neutrophils have stayed extremely low with this current chemo as well. In February I asked for a little chemo break, basically just skipping one round, to be able to travel without all of the side effects and my oncologist agreed!
I went back "home" to Treasure Island in Florida for a few days with a great friend and met another one there. Boy is she lucky enough to live my dream down there now. I'm incredibly jelly! We hung out on the beach, ate lots of good food and I attended my first (but hopefully not my last) Gasparilla! This wasn't a planned event, it just happened to be going on at the same time the trip was already booked (meant to be I think). It was a beautiful 80 degree day with full sunshine, 12 hours of parades, pirates, people, over 300,000 people, and LOTS of beads. Little did we know, this is the 4th largest parade/event in the US every year and we had never heard of it! So much fun! And we got to see the Chiefs win while on the beach! No better way to watch a Chiefs game for sure!!
Then two weeks later my "Fab Five" girls (minus one 😟 ) went on a bucket list trip of a lifetime! Costa Rica! These trips with my girls are the most special trips EVER! I love them all so much! We snorkeled two beautiful reefs, visited a beautiful waterfall, rafted down a river full of monkeys, iguanas, crocks and we even saw a very extinct bird (only 100 left in the world). The tour guides were more excited about it than us I think! We went to a rainforest where we saw toucans, sloths, and colorful but poisonous frogs. I was absolutely enamored by these beautiful creatures! We went to a spa that was on the side of a volcano and bathed ourselves in the volcanic mud and after it dried we waded down a little river to a waterfall where we washed the mud off. Then went over to the natural springs which were warmed by the volcano to soak all afternoon. I cannot even begin to describe how beautiful and amazing this country is. I'll definitely try to figure a way back there someday... hopefully!
But alas, all good things must come to an end, and ironically, on Valentines day I was back in the chemo chair once again. Since then I've had a couple of rounds and each time my tumor marker has gone up some. It is still not as high as before my surgery, but going up is not a good sign. With the surgery that I had there is a massively high rate of recurrence and spread with this particular cancer. I knew this going into the surgery but it was a shot I had to take to try to save my life. I feel like God put that surgery in my path for a reason and I pray every day that I get more time to live this crazy, awful, amazing, beautiful life!
This brings us to tomorrow.... probably the biggest scan I have had in my whole cancer journey. This is the first scan post surgery. I cannot even begin to tell you how HUGE this one is. Which is probably why my anxiety is through the roof and I have been having moments of paralyzing fear. Of course, pair this with the incredible loss of two of my chemo buddies, who have passed away in the last few weeks, the anxiety and the survivors guilt is an incredible weight to bear.
I am definitely on the struggle bus today and am asking for all my prayer warriors to say a big one for me to help me through the fear and anxiety of today and for my scan to be good tomorrow! And as always, I'll see ya on the flip side God willing!
